


And Then There Were None

by Issay



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Character Death, Character Study, F/M, possible AU from season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 15:36:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2115396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Issay/pseuds/Issay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jax throughout the series 1-6 with my own take on season 7. Character study.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Then There Were None

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first one-shot in this fandom so I'm scared shitless.  
> All mistakes are mine and mine alone (and I'll be very happy if you'll point them out to me).
> 
> This sandbox belongs to Kurt Sutter, I'm just playing with his toys ;)

_(in the beginning wind in his hair and roar of his motorcycle are everything)_

 

He's eighteen and incredibly stupid, just got his first tattoo and prospect's cut. And he's in love with that beautiful, smart girl who will achieve something more than just being an Old Lady. Vodka is running through is veins and his brothers are around him – and life is good. Real good. Jax Teller thinks that it can't get any better.

He's right.

 

_(then he learns)_

 

Top rocker means responsibility and knowledge – and nothing could prepare him for that one. Brotherhood is no longer everything the club means to him. It's also money and heartbreak and bitter guilt when his best friend goes to prison. But he's no longer a child so he swallows every word he wants to scream at Clay and the others.

Words cut his throat and stay in his stomach, deeply, painful remainder of every single time word “Son” lost its prideful meaning.

 

_(after that, years all look the same to him)_

 

He has a son now and he's scared because he may be able to face armed Mayans but having a kid? Strange land. And he knows about bad parenting, he had more than enough of that one already. But he's responsible for this tiny person who was born only a couple of days earlier and yet Jax managed to fail his son at least once.

He promises, mainly to himself, that he won't do it again.

 

_(sometimes it gets better)_

 

She's back in his life again, this love of his life. And she sticks to him through all the shit the club brings on them. Tara astonishes him with her bravery when she waits for him to go out of prison, alone with two kids and still with her head held high. He loves her with every fibre of his being - but not as much as he loves the club. Because he was brought up in stupid, blind belief that Sons of Anarchy are the sense of his existence. Even if the club fails him, his love will not falter.

 

_(he knows it's stupid but can't bring himself to care)_

 

And then she's gone.

Just like that, pale and bloody on their kitchen floor, smelling of baby powder and dishwater. He doesn't care, he just wants to hold her in his arms and wait until the big reveal that it all is just a dream. A stupid nightmare from which he'll wake up in her warm arms.

The big reveal never comes.

 

_(and something breaks in him)_

 

She's gone and in a way he's gone too. He goes after those who are to blame and he has nothing left to loose because everything was taken away from him. His faith in the club, love of his life, loyalty of his family. So he does the only thing he knows how to do: he kills. He bathes this damned town in blood and somewhere in the dark corner of his half-mad mind he thinks about every time they had an opportunity to leave.

He thinks of Donna and Opie. He doesn't even weep.

 

_(and in the end the wind in his hair and lights of the semi coming straight at him are everything)_


End file.
